Flex plates and torque converters

To say that I'm not real big on automatics is something of an understatement so I'm calling out for advice. Here is the problem with the aforementioned starter motor. The flexplate will not bolt up to the torque converter properly. When the centre (the automatic's equivalent to the site of the spigot bearing) is right up tight it is 3/16" out. The 3 bolts can pull up tight but that warps the flex plate and the the gear on the starter motor only touches on the very end. Just as I'm typing this, Colin McAskill emails in with the suggestion that the "locator" is missing.